A classic but funny joke about Italians

This is what an Italian guy wrote after he visitted United Kingdom. I was at school today and couldn't keep a straight face because I kept thinking about this joke.

Now I am a tella you story how I was treated at your hotella. I am a comm a from Roma as tourist to London and stay as a young a christian man at your hotella. When I comma in my room I see there is no shit on my bed, how can I sleep with no shit on my bed? So I calla down to receptione and tella: 'I wanna shit.' They tella me: 'Go to toilet.' I say:'No, no, no. 'I wanna shit on my bed'. They say: 'You better not shit on your bed, you sonnawabitch !' What is a sonnawabitch?
I go down for breakfast into restorante. I order bacon and eggs and two pisses of toast. I getta only one piss of toast. I tell a waitress and pointa of toast: 'I wanna piss !' She tella me 'Go to toilet'. I say: 'No, no, I wanna piss on my plate !' She then say to me: 'You bloody hella not piss on the plate, you sonnawabitch!'Second person who do not eve know me calle me sonnawabitch. What is a sonnawabitch?
Later I go for dinner in your restorante. Spoon and knife is laid out, but no fock. I tella waitress: 'I wanna fock' and she tella me: 'Sure, everyone wanna fock.' I tella her: 'No, no, you do not understand me. I wanna fock on the table !' She tells me: 'So you sonnawabitch wanna fock on the table ? Get your ass out of here !' So I go to receptione and ask for bill. I no wanna stay in this hotella no more. When I have paid the bills, the portiera say to me: 'Thank you, and peace on you.' I say: Piss on you to, you sonnawabitch !' I go back to Italy. I never more comma stay to your hotel no more, you sonnawabitch.